self-fulfilling enigma (breaking the circle that won't break)

 

1.  despair

the longer i search

for what i want most, the less

i find it's out there.

 

2.  deviance

i know perfection

is a hopeless dream; though i

can't stop chasing it.

 

3.  dispassionate

the longer i search

for what i need most, the less

i find i want it.

 

4.  denial

i will fulfill my

own destiny thus; can there

be another way?

 

5.  declaration

swimming in this void,

i shall not succumb; my will

is born(e) to defy.

 

6.  defiance

swimming in this void,

i will not succumb; my will

fights fate till its death.

 

- 7/21/05, 1:25-1:45 am

written on the last night of my vacation in the dominican republic

 

to the asylum