form
follows function (remnants of a dissipated memory)
you once said
i could never do
better than you.
i reply
i couldn’t do worse.
to start:
i tried to love you –
i thought i could.
for every door
i wanted to open
you swallowed the keys.
no respect in love?
(were you lying too?)
my feelings were only worthy
when yours were appeased.
like you could only love
what you would make me.
wasn’t the original version
good enough?
why did we waste time?
why did you say
“i love you” –
so you could hate me?
to make me fuck you?
to poison me?
to teach me lessons
i learned every day
both before and since
there is no trust.
love –
that which is supposed
to be good
above all else –
can be put to ends
of great evil.
security
is all in the mind.
illogical concept.
eternal solitude –
no love –
better than lies.
there is no life
in fiction.
it could have been real
you never gave it
a chance.
(if i gave you the chance
you wanted to change
would you have wanted
to be loved as a lie?)
- intentionally undated
just me, bored one night (probably in 1998), hacking up a tiny hairball from years past to play catch…