i know i feel.  how much?

more than might be thought.

 

epicentrifugal force

 

my fears slaughter my soul,

in their attempt to generate

mere moments of stability,

only leaves me quaking more.

 

through absolute zero numbness

and desperation

of searching this expanse

i manage to survive

teetering on this tightrope

trying to complete my emptiness

each day coming closer

and being left farther behind

a futile redundancy i practice

only in the belief

that even futility is limited

and one day i’ll be realized.

 

“i got my head, but my head is unraveling

can’t keep control, can’t keep track of where it’s traveling

i got my heart, but my heart is no good

and you’re the only one that’s understood”

-nine inch nails, “the perfect drug”

 

“and every little thing the reflex does

leaves the answer with a question mark…”

-duran duran, “the reflex”

 

- 4/6/98

 

to the asylum