it hurts much more
knowing what you miss
feelings you can't give
that none are there to take
maybe i am to blame
not showing how i feel
but sometimes i do
and i am always the loser
the faces will change
the pain stays the same
i don't understand why
i never understood why
my pleasure is my torture
my life is my death
not being able to breathe
would be love and hate at once
experiencing the fruits of
emotions only to find that
now my senses are gone
is a hell all my own
i cannot bear this anymore
i need to escape this now
but what is escape? and
what am i heading towards?
i cannot see in front of me
i only know what is behind
and, knowing my futures past,
the only thing i feel now is fear.
- 4/12/95