content/contempt
i was born disunderstood
and i’m supposed to believe
it’s always been my fault,
a fault of disinterest
in their systems of worthiness
whose second function is scorn
- and i am to smile and accept?
all i can summon is a sneer.
one becomes numb
when continually
ignored and abused.
don’t shed a tear
i’ve made it this far
alone.
head full of stars
from shredding these scars
alone.
pained heart’s sorrow
screaming at tomorrow
alone.
i’ve only known
this one way to be.
it’s all i’ve ever had.
i’ve spent life
in this liquid nitrogen
display case
so lost
out of place
in a world
of emptiness.
-undated, probably 1997-1998