constructing armageddon?

 

i awaken

on a bed

in a room

on a floor

in a house

empty cold alone

 

i beat my alarm clock

to fight for more sleep

to avoid the thought, alone

 

stagger out of bed

the only way

to approach the dreaded day

 

read the paper

eat a cheap breakfast

a little television, perhaps

a rushed shower

and off to work

or other business

whether enjoyable, positive,

average, negative, irking

it builds up inside

begging to be shared

and, as a result, released.

 

i return

through the door

into the house

down a floor

in this room

and on to bed

 

still empty.

still cold.

still alone.

 

each day absorbed

in through the last

a gnawing hole

this swirling mass

constricting density

towards critical fast

empty.  cold.  alone.

and when is this past?

 

“and so i sit here through the night

and i rock myself to sleep

and time keeps ticking…”

-queensryche, “silent lucidity”

 

- undated, probably 1999

 

to the asylum