i have so much left to lose
yet nothing left at all
i don't care for what i have
it is not that which i want
therefore it does not matter
when nothing is left to lose
what is there still to gain?
and the blood from my hands
stains the scars on my wrists
as i hang from this rotted cross
which i built for myself
years and years ago in my youth
because my premonitions of
the future i would lead
all have come true in time
i saw it but could not stop
for the past had held me back
now that i disregard the past
it is intent to haunt me forever
and the blood from my heart
stains the hopes in my mind
and the dreams i endeavor
hang off the cross with me
and the blood from my soul
drains away the will to live
with my last breath on this world
i condemn it all to hell
- 3/8/95, 3:10-3:30 pm