an actual waste of potential

 

potential is frustrated by actuality –

a chaotic duality in infinite variation,

two strands clashing in their union

of impossible knots at incongruous angles.

 

reality exists in fantastical senses –

breathing cold harshness, filling the mind

times over with pragmatic permutations –

possibilities persisting pointlessly in etherium.

 

anesthetized i’ve tried to be

as defense against insanity,

but i can’t help myself from

spitting salt in my wounds.

 

the start of a belief: all thought

is wasted theoretical nonsense –

a principle difficult to reconcile

against bases of logic and philosophy.

 

a crushed spirit, resisting implosion,

smashing headlong into walls,

fighting for scraps of hope – potential

to which he is apparently not entitled.

 

(after thought…)

there is no moral right or wrong –

unless one supports futile structures.

there is no legal right or wrong –

unless one is the adjudicator.

 

ethical compasses made of fool’s gold:

opinion is worthless in ubiquity.

contemplation, based in this lineage,

is almost wasting time.

 

- 9/3/02

 

author's note:  i feel i'm a very good predictor of potential in people.  there is an inherent sadness in this, as many people never accept the reality of their potential, and thus never act on it.  it is one of the worst, most paralyzing fears one could have, to be afraid of the failure of one's own potential.  a friend of mine once said, "when in doubt, do nothing."  i would say to him, "when in doubt, make up your mind!"  a point is always reached where you over-think a situation to the point where you out-think yourself!  anything worth doing is worth doing in moderation, and this goes double for internal analysis.

 

to the asylum